


All I want for Christmas is you

by Dysia



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Friends to Lovers, I know, I've written it like two years ago and haven't even edited it, It's a bit crap, Kissing, M/M, hope there isn't too much mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:46:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dysia/pseuds/Dysia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Woohyun really hates Christmas</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I want for Christmas is you

I sighed changing the channel again but there was another Christmas commercial.

We still had more than three weeks till Christmas, but it was attacking me from every possible place. There were Christmas advertisements on TV for few weeks already showing happy families celebrating together and exchanging gifts. I really hated that. On the radio you could hear Christmas songs all the time and I could swear that if I hear Let it snow one more time I will throw up. It's really too much. Main streets of the city were already decorated with Christmas lights and even few Christmas tress could be found. Even storefronts were decorated with ornaments and so on showing that Christmas is coming.

Even though there was still a lot of time till the 24th of December people were already going crazy buying gifts for their friends and family. Shops were full of people all the time trying to find the beast thing to buy.

I was probably the only person who still haven't bought a Christmas tree or present for my family. I wasn't also watching the Christmas movies which were playing from time to time already or singing those songs under my breath when I heard them on the radio. I wasn't really looking forward to that time of December. 

That's probably because I never had normal Christmas. Maybe when I was 1 or 2 years old my Christmas were normal, with family, presents and happiness, but I couldn't really remember that. Then we moved to the United States where my dad got a very good job, so I don't really remember my life in Korea.

My dad lost his job after few months though and he had to do many small jobs so to earn money. We were rather poor so we weren't celebrating Christmas at all.

My father left me and my mum when I was 8. He completely disappeared from my life and I haven't seen him from the day he had closed the door after himself. If not the money he was sanding as the alimony till I became 18 we wouldn't even know he's alive or not. 

When my dad left us mum had to work even more, so she would be able to pay bills, afford new clothes for me and books for school and also food. I really appreciated that, because she was doing that everything for me. She was working also during Christmas, because she could get paid more then.

That's why I hate Christmas. When other kids were having a great time with their family I was alone in my room, with a pack of chips or other junk food and a bottle of very sweet drink. I was watching some stupid films on TV trying to find something what wasn't about the Christmas so I could not think about it. When the first and second time I was left alone during that day for the whole night I cried for few hours feeling depressed because even during that time I couldn't spend a happy time with my mum.

When I got older it stopped really bothering me. It became a routine for me, watching stupid films on my computer and eating junk food till late at night. 

When I was 15 my mum found herself a boyfriend what really surprised me because she hasn't dated anyone for nearly 7 years. But I didn't really like that guy. He was almost five years younger than my mum and even though he tried to befriend me I didn't really let it happen. I was sure that I didn't need another dad, I was good only with my mum. 

She really liked him though and she wanted us to spend the Christmas together. At first I felt really excited but when the first wave of happiness passed I wasn't so sure about that anymore.

It turned quite lame, just as I was scared it would. There were only the three of us, the dinner wasn't really good because mum burned the meat and potatoes were too salty. Present I got from my mum and her partner wasn't really what I wanted to get but I still tried to look happy.

Those day didn't make me like Christmas at all and that's why when the next year my mum asked me to go together with her and Paul to meet his parents I decided to stay at home and that's also what I did the next two years.

During that time she and Paul got married and we started living together. It felt uncomfortable for me so when I finally finished high school I couldn't be more happy. I had chosen the university in Chicago, far from our town so I wouldn't have to see them frequently. I wasn't even coming home for Christmas and my mum was really upset about that but I always explained that I have to study because we have exams shortly.

Now I'm 23 and work in one of the biggest corporations in Chicago. I live in the small studio flat, alone, even my hamster died few months ago. I am single because I never found a person with who I would like to make a relationship. The thing that I was gay wasn't helping either because it's even harder to find a decent guy than a decent girl. With sadness I had to admit that more of them are looking only for a good sex and even though I liked sex, but who didn't, I finally wanted to start a steady relationship. I wasn't in the relationship for almost a year and I had sex the last time something like two months ago. I probably was getting older and that's why one night stands weren't exciting me anymore.

So yeah, I'm lonely too, very lonely.

I sighed finally turning off the TV and deciding to read a book instead. But before I even opened it my phone vibrated on the coffee table. 

I picked it up and instantly I heard some noises on the other end of the line.

“Woohyun?” I heard my mum's voice and it actually made me feel happy a bit. Few days passed since I talked to her the last time. Expect from my colleges I didn't have anyone I could talk to. My life really sucks. 

“Hi mum, how are you?” I asked.

“We're fine. Amy had an upset stomach last night and couldn't sleep at all but she's fine now.”

“That's good.” I said. The thing that I nearly wasn't present in my younger siblings life was a bit sad for me. I really liked them, both Jake who was 3 year old and Amy who was 14 months. I wasn't home very frequently though.

“How about you? The weather is getting colder, I hope you're healthy.”

“Yeah, mum I'm healthy and fine.”

“That's good. I wanted to know if you're coming for Christmas this year.”

I knew that this is why she's calling me. She was calling me this time of the month for few years asking if I will visit them but my answer never changed.

“I'm sorry mum, but no. I'm working on a big project right now and it will probably take me another month or so to finish it. I think that I will spend my Christmas working a bit.”

“Oh honey, it's a time of the year when you should relax and spend your time with your family and not work. You're taking too much on yourself, you're working too much. You should really take a break this year and spend at least few days with us”

“I know but I really can't do it this year. Maybe the next one.”

“You're telling me that every year and then you're not coming anyway.” she said and I could hear sadness in her voice.

“I'm sorry mum.”

“Just promise me you will be here the next year.”

“Mum, you know I can't promise you that. I may have a very important work to do and...”

“Oh no, son.” She interrupted me. ”You're telling me the same story every year, since you have moved to the Chicago and I'm not buying it anymore. I'm sure that you're the only person who have to work all the time. You will come home next Christmas or I'm really going to get mad and I will come and bring you home myself. Understand?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” her tone changed back to the nice, sweet one. ”Take care, Woohyun”

“Yeah, you too mum. Say hello to Paul and kiss Jake and Amy's cheeks from me.”

“I will call you again soon. I love you.”

“Love you too, mum.” I said and in the next second the conversation ended.

Now I had to find another excuse to not to come for a Christmas next year.

***

“Oh, that's amazing” one of my coworkers said looking at the blue dress with sequins for a maybe 10 years old girl. “I'm sure she's going to love it.”

Then she turned around and her eyes leaned on my. I was praying so she won't ask me anything but of course she had to.

“What do you think, Woohyun?”

“It's cute.” I just said and turned away so I won't have to answer more stupid questions.

“Oh, I hope Emma is gonna like it. I don't know why she thinks that my taste in clothes is terrible.”  
“Don't worry, Jane. My kids are saying the same thing.”

I looked at my watch and with relief I realized that it's a time for lunch. I saved all the documents and turned off the computer but before I had time to get up someone put a hand on my desk.

My eyes traveled up and met a smiling face of Kim Sunggyu.

God, he's so cute and handsome at the same time and even funny and intelligent but I knew I didn't have a chance. Why would he pick me when so many girls and boys were interested in him? I wasn't anything special.

“Are you going to grab some lunch right now?” he asked me with a smile.

“Yeah.”

“That's great because I'm going too. Maybe we could go together, it's always better than eating alone.”

“That sounds great.” I said grabbing my jacket from the chair and standing up.

Sunggyu sent me another breathtaking smile and I had to turn my eyes from him so he won't see me blush. Yeah, I had a crush on him, a big one, since the day I've seen him for the first time what would be also a day when he has started working here. It would be exactly three months, seventeen days and 4 hours ago. Yes, I'm counting.

I fell for him instantly. For his adorable eyes which fitted perfectly to his handsome face, nice body and amazing ass and of course his bright attitude. He was perfect and the fact that he was also Korean and only two years older was a nice addition.

But I never made a move on him and even I wasn't sure why. Maybe I was too scared that the boy of my dreams would reject me because I'm not good enough. It was quite weird because it was always me who made the first move to get someone's attention. But it was different. He was different.

“Is there a place you would like to eat today?” he asked and I glanced at him. So stunning.

“No, I'm fine with everything.” I said. “You chose.” 

“Okay, so how about Italian food? There is a pretty good restaurant near here.”

“That sounds great.” I said really liking the idea. I was quite tired of junk food I was eating almost every day so this would be a nice change.

The place was already full of people but fortunately we found one empty table and sat down.

Immediately one of he waitress came to us with menus and asked us about what we would like to drink. We both asked for coffee and then she walked away leaving us alone.

Then Sunggyu said something in Korean and expect words 'you' and 'like' I didn't understand anything. I looked at him as he was reading the menu and after a moment he lifted his eyes so he could look at me. “What?” he asked in Korean again but I could understand that.

“Sorry, I don't understand what you said.” I said feeling like a complete fool.

“I thought you're Korean.” he said in English this time rising his brows.

“Yeah, I am but my family have moved here when I was only two years old and I don't really remember much of this language.” 

“Oh, okay. I didn't know about that but it's probably better to talk in English. I just thought that it would be nice to talk to someone in Korean again, expect my parents and sister.” he said smiling again.

“Yeah English would be great.” I said smiling back.

“I asked you 'what would you like to eat'.” he said looking back at the menu. 

I took mine from the table and opened it too, reading the names of the many kinds of food. “I don't know. I was never here and I don't really know too much about Italian food. Maybe you could suggest me something?”

“How about pasta with pesto sauce?”

“Sounds good.” I said nodding my head in agreement.

As the waitress gave us our coffees Sunggyu gave her our orders and then turned back to me. In that moment I could hear another Christmas song coming from the radio and I really had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Christmas are coming, aren't you excited?” he asked taking first sip of the coffee.

“Not really. I don't like Christmas.” I admitted with a shrug and watched as Sunggyu's expression turned slowly to the shocked one.

“Are you serious about that?” he asked and I nodded my head. “Everyone I know love Christmas. It's such a great time when you have a lot of free time which you can spend with people you love.”

“Maybe for you but my Christmas never looked like that. I was always sitting alone when my mum was earning some extra money.”

“That's really sad.” he said and he really looked like he care. “How about presents? You never got something you liked?”

“No, we were pretty poor so my mum was saving every coin to afford my future education. I can understand that and I'm really thankful but still it would be really nice to get something, even something little. When I got older it stopped really bothering me and when my mum found herself a boyfriend and we weren't so tight on money I wasn't interested in Christmas any longer.”

“So I guess you're not visiting your mother this year?” he asked and I nodded my head. “You're going to spend Christmas all by yourself?”

“Yeah, it's just like another normal day for me. There's nothing special about that.”

“Oh boy, I wish there would be someone who can show you how amazing Christmas is.”

And the only person I would like it to be was actually sitting right in front of me. But I was sure that it's impossible so I just lowered my eyes not saying anything.

“I think that even though you were never celebrating Christmas you should give it a chance. I'm sure your mum is going to be happy to have you there that day.”

“She would but I already told her that I'm not going to get there.”

“And she just accepted it like that?” he asked. It was probably very weird for him, not wanting to spend Christmas together with your family but that's just who I am.

“Yeah, I told her that I have a very important project to do and that I will probably work a lot even during Christmas. She had to let it go.”

“You know... it's kind of childish.” when I looked at him like I don't understand him he continued “Maybe your childhood wasn't very good but still you should give up of the old pains and give it a chance. Christmas is the best time you can spend with your family, it's a magical time and I'm sure your mum feels terrible when you're not there. I know about that when my sister couldn't do that two years ago, those Christmas wasn't the same so we promised that we will spend hose time of the year together if we only can. This year I'm going there too...”

“Can we just change the topic of the conversation?” I asked finally interrupting him, not being able to hear another good word about Christmas from him. 

Since the day my eyes leaned on him I couldn't stop thinking about him and when the thought of spending Christmas together with him crossed my mind I just couldn't get rid of that too. It made me hate Christmas even more because I was sure I couldn't have him. Such an amazing guy couldn't be single. And still the only thing I wanted to get for Christmas was he. Is it too much to ask considering that during all those years I barely got anything? Yeah, it still is.

Sunggyu nodded his head with a small smile “Sure we can. Did you hear about...”

***

On 17th of December we had a small Christmas party with all our co-workers at the local restaurant. I wasn't really so into going there but Sunggyu was observing me all the time like he was checking if I won't run away.

So I was sitting there, drinking my drink and listening to the Christmas songs in the background as the other coworkers were talking with each other. Because I was kind of rude and looked grumpy they stopped trying to make a conversation with me some time ago. It's definitely not the best day of my life.

“At least try to smile because you look like it's the worst place where you could be at the moment.” Sunggyu said taking a place next to me.

“That's because it is. That music, Christmas tree in the corner and the whole atmosphere of Christmas. I hate it.” I answered not even looking at him.

“I love it, because everyone are happy, not thinking of any problems they're just enjoying this moment. Don't you see it?”

I looked briefly around and everyone looked truly happy. Even those people who were rather sad all the time. Magic of the Christmas.

“Not really.” I said anyway looking down at my half empty glass of alcohol.

Sunggyu's hand grabbed my wrist when I was lifting the glass to my lips. When I turned my face towards him I saw that he looks quite angry. His eyes seemed even smaller than usual but I still could see the dark brown color of his orbs shining with anger. But the only thing I could think right now was how hot he looks like. We were so close to each other that I could lean a bit closer and our lips would touch. And his hand on my skin, almost burning it...

“What's really your problem?” he snapped at me bringing me back from my world of the imagination to reality. “Can't you just try to look happy for other people here? You're ruining the mood of everyone here because of your attitude and that grumpy look on your face. They are scared to even talk to you and because of that they feel uneasy.”

“How do you know that. Are you a psychologist or something?” I snapped back at him shaking off his hand and bringing the glass finally to my lips. Only few drops leaned on my tongue before it was pulled from my lips and then Sunggyu forcefully took the glass from my hand and put it on the table away from my reach. “What the fuck?”

“Stop drinking and try to look at least normal and smile from time to time to other people.” he said gently this time giving me a small, encouraging smile.

“I don't want to. I hate Christmas.” I said back.

I couldn't even understand why I'm acting like that. The boy of my dreams were sitting right next to me and here I was being all grumpy, mean and just an asshole. Great way to make a good impression, Woohyun.

“You're acting like a child and you're not one anymore. Do I really have to remind you that?” Sunggyu said again and his words really pissed me off. That's probably because of the alcohol because he actually didn't say anything untrue.

“Yeah, I'm acting like a spoiled child, you're fucking right!” I said a bit too loudly and even Christmas songs didn't drown my words. Few people looked at me weirdly before they started whispering something to each other again. Definitely something bad about me, could this get any worse? I didn't really want to check it out. “I'm going home.”

Before Sunggyu could stop me I stood up and grabbed my jacket from the chair. I put it on while walking towards the exit. For a moment I hoped that Sunggyu will stop me but he didn't and neither did anyone else. Maybe it's not so surprising but it still wasn't nice.

I zipped my coat when the freezing air hit my body. Snow was falling for the first time this year and slowly everything was covered with white down. It only increased the atmosphere of coming Christmas as colorful lights got even more visible in white.

I sighed putting my gloves on trying to warm my already freezing fingers and slowly started walking down the street.

I managed to take only few steps before I heard someone calling me. At first I thought that I'm only imagining things but when I heard my name for the second time I turned around.

Sunggyu was standing in the doorway of the restaurant without a coat or a scarf. Cold snowflakes were falling on his thin shirt melting and leaving wet spots. Even from the distance between us I could see that he's shaking from cold.

He fast came towards me and then we were standing face to face.

“Why are you running away? I thought that you are mature and brave but you're definitely not acting like that. What's wrong?” he asked.

He wasn't mad at me and I really wished he would be. His eyes were looking at me with such care that I wasn't sure if I can keep my secret any longer.

I lowered my eyes to avoid his eyes but it wasn't a good choice because now I could see his clenched fists as he was trying to keep them warm but they were red from the cold weather anyway.  
“You should come back inside. It's freezing, you're freezing” I said looking back at his face but he just shook his head with determination.

“No, you first tell me what's wrong. Maybe you don't like Christmas and all but I'm sure that isn't the only reason why you're acting so weird, it just can't be. So just tell me what's the reason.”

I shook my head and lowered my eyes again. “I just have to deal with this myself. I'm sure you don't want to hear about my stupid problems. It's actually nothing big.”

“I want to know.” he said and in a next second I could feel his warm breathe on my cheek. “I want to help you so you want be so upset any longer.”

When my eyes found his brown one I couldn't help myself any longer and I grabbed him by the back of his neck crashing our lips together. 

His lips were cold but still felt amazing against mine. At first he were stiff as I was kissing him slowly but he didn't push me away so I didn't stop. I knew that it's the only chance I have to taste him so I wanted to enjoy it to the fullest.

Slowly Sunggyu kissed me back and I really had to stop myself from moaning. But when he brought his cold hand to my cheek and his fingers grazed my cool skin I couldn't help it any longer and let out small whimper which was swallowed by his lips.

He pulled away almost immediately and I knew it's over, everything is over.

“I'm sorry, Sunggyu.” I said lowering my head again. “I just couldn't help it any longer. I'm sorry but I like you. A lot. Since the day I have met you and... I'm sorry. I never wanted anything for Christmas but since you've appeared I couldn't stop thinking about you. I wanted you so much, to spend that day with someone who I love and who loves me, with you, that... I'm sorry.” 

When the last word left my lips I just turned around not waiting for his answer and started running as fast as I could with the pavement covered with ice. I couldn't stay there with him any second longer.

I was so stupid.

***

I was very nervous coming to work the next day about meeting Sunggyu. I was scared that he will just turn my back towards me and I was sure that it would break my heart. Him ignoring me would be the worst thing possible. Wait... him acting like nothing happened would be the worst thing possible... Or telling the other coworkers about everything. I would be not only hurt but also ashamed.

So many terrible possibilities were running through my head that when I realized that Sunggyu is absent for a moment I felt relief. It took some time before it hit me that Sunggyu's is probably avoiding me right now, he hates me and is disgusted and it's definitely the worst thing possible. I felt that my heart is breaking into million pieces.

He didn't appear at work till the Christmas break and when the last day of work was over I got even more depressed. I had more time to think about how miserable I am.

***

I opened the packet of chips and sat down comfortably on the couch taking my first sip of the bear that evening. Surprisingly I found some interesting movie on TV and I planned to spend at least two hours of Christmas Eve watching it.

Not even ten minutes passed when I heard my phone ringing. I reached for it and the packet of chips leaned on the floor. I cursed looking at few pieces on the floor and lifted it putting it on the coffee table. I decided that I will clean later and just took my phone from the table and picked up.

“Marry Christmas, honey.”

“Thanks mum, Marry Christmas to you too. How are you?”

“We're fine but I'm really upset that you're not here with us this year.”

“Sorry mum.” was the only thing I could say.

“I hope you at least have some good dinner prepared for yourself.” I looked at the can of beer and packet of chips. It definitely wasn't something my mum had in mind talking about dinner.

“Yeah mum. I spent half of the day preparing it.”

We spent another five minutes talking about everything and anything before she had to hang up because they were starting the dinner in few minutes. I tried to focus again on the movie but some important things had to happen earlier because I didn't know what's going on.

When I was already getting back into the movie I heard the doorbell. I looked at the clock on the wall wondering who could it be at that hour when everyone were sitting at the table with their family. 

I stood up and went to the door, opening it without checking who's this. And I definitely didn't expect to see him.

“Merry Christmas, Woohyun.” Sunggyu said giving me a breathtaking smile.

I wasn't sure if what I'm seeing is true or is that just an illusion. It's just too good to be true and such things never happened to me.

“Can I come in.” he asked after few seconds of just standing in the doorway.

I nodded my head and moved away letting him in. Without waiting for my permission he took of his coat and then shoes before turning back towards me.

I was still looking at him like I didn't believe what I see, because I actually didn't.

“Are you okay?” he asked taking a step closer towards me.

“Yeah, but you... here. I just can't believe it.” I said and pinched myself.

Sunggyu chuckled and reduced the distance between us so we stood right in front of each other, only few inches apart.

“Why? I'm really here.”

“But it's impossible! After my stupid confession you took few days off. I thought that you're mad at me and that you don't want to see me again.”

“I was sick, dummy. After standing in the snow without a coat I caught a cold. I wanted to contact you but I didn't have your number and I think that any of your coworkers have it. Yes, I checked. I tried to even persuade Sunmi to check it in your papers and give it to me but she protested saying that she can't give any personal information of the employees to other people. Fortunately one girl knew where you live so I decided that I will be your Christmas present. I am an amazing present, aren't I?”

I didn't need another world from him. Everything was clear now so I grabbed him by the hand and pulled him so harsh towards me that he collided with my body and I head to lean on the door behind me for support.

Our lips found each other fast and we started kissing like there's no tomorrow. We separated after few minutes of kissing and pulled my hands from under his t-shirt. I couldn't help a smile that was shining on my face.

“Does it mean that you like me?”

“Yeah, that's exactly what it means. I really, really like you Woohyun.” he said kissing me lightly on the lips again. Then we stood there for few more minutes just embracing each other. It flt amazing, having him in my arms and knowing that he feels the same about me.

“I have few things in the car. Will you help me bring it up here?” Sunggyu asked and I pulled away from him to look at his face.

“Few things?” I asked back and Sunggyu nodded his head with a smile.

“Yeah. I've made some things to eat for today and tomorrow. I assume you didn't even think about making some dishes for Christmas.”

“Not really, I always made myself something simple to eat like pastas or meat.” I admitted.

“I thought so. That's why I cooked something myself. We have to have something good because we're going to spend this Christmas together.”

He pulled away from me and put on his shoes as I was processing what he did said.

“Wait, does it mean that we're spending this Christmas together? Tomorrow too?”

“Yeah, that's my plan.” he said putting his coat on.

“But what about your family? You said that you're spending every year together.”

Sunggyu smiled and kissed me on the lips again. “I told them that there's someone special for me and that I want to spend those Christmas with him and they were actually very happy for me. They actually want to meet you now.” he said clearly embarrassed with that fact

“I still can't believe that it's really happening. I'm so happy!” I said and brought him back into my arms.

“I told you that this is time when miracles happen. Do you believe me now?”

“Oh yeah.”

“That's good but let's leave that talk and all that for later. Let's go bring all the things from the car first. I'm actually pretty hungry but I wanted to eat with you.” 

I nodded my head in agreement and put my clothes on fast. When we exited my apartment Sunggyu grabbed my hand and we both looked at each other.

Maybe I could like Christmas a bit more from now on.


End file.
